That is always the case, isn’t it?
There are numerous, thousands upon thousands of personal depression stories on the web. Millions in fact. I have read all the ones that came my way and I see we all have something similar. We all feel this foreign feeling, a personal vicious cycle.
But I am not talking about that in this post. I am talking about the people who respond to them.
You see, there are people who reply “Same.” or they share a little or a lot about a similar situation. But then I see loads of other comments. The other replies that I am referring to. The ones where they beg to differ. The ones that make it a competition.
You know the comments I am talking about.
That is what they are. Differences.
The main post would be someone pouring out their testimony or their life experiences and I can relate to some and not others. I find what they feel is valid, we are all different.
But then you get the other comments. The ones that make the main post seem like whatever it is that they are feeling is indeed NOT depression. Why? Because that is not the way it was for them.
There are different types of depression.
There are mild cases, extreme cases, and cases where it stays for a short or long amount of time. There is no “real depression”, there are types.
Major Depression.Persistent Depressive Disorder.Bipolar Disorder.Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)Psychotic Depression.Peripartum (Postpartum) Depression.Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)’Situational’ Depression.
I could go on about types there are, but I know you get my drift.
What comments am I talking about?
People who like to compare. (I am the same way sometimes)
For example, a post could go:
“I feel like a piece of garbage. I woke up today feeling happy and I was doing great until I came home and did it again. I cut myself. Depression sucks. I cannot stop cutting myself. It feels better to feel the pain this way than I do inside.”
There would be comments like:
“I know the feeling, keep going love. Hugs XXX”
“I remember those days, just remember people love you!”
“I have no idea how it feels because I have not been through it myself. I just wish you would realize how special you are and you can get past this. If you need anyone to talk to, I’m here.”
Those comments are not what I am talking about. I am talking about:
“I never cut myself when I was depressed???? I don’t know why people do that. I got help like a normal person. Go to your doctor.”
“Stop seeking attention. I am so sick of you fake depressed people talking about how fucking “sad” you are. You do not know REAL depression! Have you ever starved yourself so bad that you had to be hospitalized?! Have you been abused by your parents?! Have you ever slept for days and did not get up!? NO?! Stop crying. You do not know what it’s like.”
“Fucking snowflakes. You are just SAD. Get OVER IT! I am depressed and you don’t see me crying about it.”
“I remember when I used to cut myself for fun. The emo phase hasn’t passed yet? It will pass lol”
I know there are people who fake it.
We can weed out the ones who fake it, but it is not as simple as one thinks. There can be so many variables that are in play they might not be giving us. But for some reason, maybe because they do not care, some will not take that into consideration. We have no idea how one feels because we are not in the person’s head. Smiles are faked. Laughs can be a charade. People can be good liars.
There are some who can not hide the depression, you can see it plain as day on their face. You can see it eat them up and see the effects of it.
The fakers do make it hard to decipher who is genuinely going through depression and those who have the need for attention. But nevertheless, they are going through something too.
Depression can have different effects on people.
The different types of depression and different individuals make each experience different.
Major Depressive Disorder
The major depressive disorder occurs when the person has feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or anger that persist over a period of weeks and interfere with daily life. It can lead to suicide in severe cases.
From the Greek for “poor mood,” dysthymia is characterized by a persistently sad disposition, as though the person is always in a bad mood. The symptoms last longer than with major depression, but they are not as severe.
Atypical depression can be hard to diagnose and it often lasts for years. Some of the common symptoms of depression, such as decreased appetite, are reversed; the person may have cravings for chocolates or sweets.
Bipolar or Manic Depression
Bipolar disorder is characterized by cycling between depressive periods and manic periods in which the person engages in a lot of activity and feels extremely empowered and positive. The time between phases varies from person to person.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
SAD often strikes people during the winter months. A lack of sunlight, exercise, and fresh air causes irritability and lethargy in people who suffer SAD.
Postpartum depression occurs often in women who have recently given birth. The time of onset varies; it can occur as early as three months or as late as a year after delivery. It is moderate to severe.
Patients who suffer psychotic depression exhibit psychotic symptoms along with the depression, such as delusions or hallucinations. The hallucinations can affect any or all of the senses. Usually, the delusions involve feelings of unwarranted guilt or inadequacy.
Short-Term and Long-Term Effects of Depression
In the short-term, depression is likely to cause loss of appetite, weight loss, and other physical symptoms. If you develop insomnia or hypersomnia (sleeping too much), you will be fatigued and lethargic. In the long term, you can experience malnutrition from not eating enough or become obese from eating too much. You can also experience a drop in short-term memory, finding it easier to forget things. Long-term depression can also lead to suicide; EverydayHealth states that over 66 percent of suicides have depression as a factor.
So many others. So many people. So many differences.
Is your depression valid?
Yes. Your depression and your emotions are valid. There will always be people who are going to make you feel like it is not. There are trolls on the internet and they are going to get a reaction out of you. There will be those who feel that their depression is worse, and it might be, but it does not mean yours is any less valid.
I hate that there are people who compete. If depression is a contest on “Who feels more shitty?”. Why would they do that? Why comment on something that is completely different from their own experience? If they asked for advice and asked for opinions? Well, that is understandable. That is where a personal opinion can be expressed without judgment (from me).
I’m a cunt. I know.
The posts where they just share about a shitty thing that happened during the day? Sharing about their depressive state? I do not see why those comments are relevant.
“But I see him post it day after day! It is annoying!”
Simple solution: Unfollow them.
“But I care about them and want to hear about them when they are not posting sad posts.”
If you really cared, it would not bother you and you will accept your friend just the way they are. Or, just check up on them from time to time where you do not have to see their depressive posts.
You have control what you see, there is no excuse.
“Why do they post things like that online if they do not want a person’s opinion? It is the internet. It happens.”
In my opinion, why does it have to happen? Why can’t a person be a bigger person and just leave the post/ comment alone? Look at it and judge it and let them be. Why is the internet such a judgmental place? Why does it have to be? I have seen the variety of the damn answers to that. I have asked the internet before and there were so many positive and negative answers to that question.
I wonder if it ever occurred to them that the internet is the only place to go to. If they know some people do not have close friends to confide in. They might have no one to talk to. They might want to be heard and cannot seem to find another way to do it. They do not want to bother their friends with their problems. Maybe the internet is not just about food porn and selfies. Maybe it is a way to communicate with the ones we love. A way to share one’s feelings when dealing with it personally is not enough. A cry for help? Maybe they do it for the fuck of it? Who knows?
All I know is there are people who get under my skin. Not the trolls. Not the people I expect this from. I am talking about the people who promote awareness of the matter. The people who claim they have depression themselves and then go tear a person down. The people who share depressive posts themselves and get upset when a person does it to them. That their feelings are the only ones that are important. Sharing bullying awareness and acceptance posts of different kinds. The people who go through it and promote peace and love and do not practice what they preach.
I know, this was just a long rant.
It is just a petty rant. A person like me is not going to change anything. This is just one of those posts. Yeah, one of those “I-am-fed-up-with-this-shit” blog post.
Am I the only one?
Depression is one of those subjects where it can go anywhere. People are people and what can you do?
Until Next Time,
(I do sound “triggered” lol)
“Signs and Symptoms of Depression – Causes and Effects.” PsychGuides.com, 2018, http://www.psychguides.com/guides/depression-symptoms-causes-and-effects/.